I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This toilet bowl is my home.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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