Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
