Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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