We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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