I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
