I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
