I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
