It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
