I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
