sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Randomize
