I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
