That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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