Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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