and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
