my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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