Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
