does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
