my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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