It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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