Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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