dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
