his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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