Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
