Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
