her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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