Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
