I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
