Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
