every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
