What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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