I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
