So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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