he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
