can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The beer is more important than you right now.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize