dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
