Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
