so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize