Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
