Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
BRING THE BAGELS
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So apparently I’m into choking now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
