STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish i was in the wii world.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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