I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
