I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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