I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
