Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
