Umm I'm too high to move.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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