I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
