This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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