Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
