Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
