They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
