whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
