I wish I could teleport
i don't like sucking hair
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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